How Will You Be Remembered?

A basic tenet among trust and estate lawyers is that communication is the key to peacefully transferring one’s assets – communication to the beneficiaries at the time the Will is made and by the Personal Representative when it is probated after the death.  (In the case of a living trust, an advantage of the trust is that it can keep family money matters private by avoiding the probate court, where records are public.)

            As a teenager in the 1960’s, I remember a funny story on a record called “The Reading of the Will”.  It went something like this:   A family gathers in court for the reading of their husband and father’s will.  The Judge begins reading the deceased Marvin’s own glowing descriptions of his wife and sons, to each of whom he leaves $1 million dollars.  Family members “ooh and ahh” at Marvin’s wealth and generosity.  Then the Judge’s tone of voice changes as he reads:  “And to my brother-in-law, Sam, who lived with us for 10 years rent-free, and who never lifted a finger around the house, and who said I would never remember him in my Will . . . . .   “Hello Sam.”

            Will you leave a positive communication like a devoted great Aunt, for example, who opened up bank accounts on the day each young relative was born and added to them every year so that by the time she died she left a lovely, surprise bequest to each. 

            Or, will you be like a man I know who died at age 50 of a heart attack.  He had long known that his family had a history of premature death from cardiac arrest.  This competent professional man did not have a Will or Trust because it seemed he couldn’t face the choices he would have had to make in allocating money between a second wife and the children from his first and second marriages.  Or, maybe, he was afraid to make a Will because he was superstitious.  This was and always is a serious mistake.

            So whether you are remembered like “Marvin” or that great aunt, be remembered as someone who planned for your loved ones and was not so afraid or superstitious so as to leave them in a mess.

            As the season begins to change, change your thinking  about estate planning.